When your culture is counter-culture: Lovingly explaining your more traditional wedding choices

My husband and I are from small towns, and we work in corporate offices, so sometimes we seem kind of traditional and conservative. But we're also creative types who make art and like to hang around with others who do, too, so sometimes we seem kind of quirky and unconventional. Sometimes I'm the only person at a reading wearing pantyhose; sometimes I'm the only person in the office who goes to readings.

So we had plenty of people in our lives who were expecting us to get married in their idea of the traditional way — matching bridesmaids, a light touch of religion, and a hyperactive DJ. And we had plenty of people who weren't really expecting us to get married at all, or at least, not have Wedding Guest Dresses. Certainly no one was mean to me in the run-up to my wedding, but I did hear some comments and suggestions that made me realize that cultural norms can be very strong even when the culture is the counter-culture.

Despite being very susceptible to suggestions, I did manage to stand firm on how I wanted the Sexy Wedding Dresses to be. Offbeat Bride has some wonderful, "Thank you for your interest but I've already decided" conflict resolution posts that apply to pretty much anything. But here are some specific scenarios if you, like me, find yourself a little bit too onbeat for others' likings.